Infinite Blessings Readers!
One thing I said to myself before I decided to begin writing is to keep on learning and growing. I did it and I never stop until now.
I learned the methods and mindset from different types of people in a negative and positive way. Each day I read books/eBooks on how to develop my character. But the more I drained myself into learning, the containers in my head started to get full that I’m afraid it will explode.
Am I exaggerating?
But it’s true. I’m hungry and desperate to learn. And as the time goes by, I showed symptoms of progress. I learned to develop myself from the things I knew. I noticed that my behavior started to change by not listening and accepting negative news in the society and from bad experiences and vulnerability of the people around me. I started to change my preference and only walked the path with people that have the same dreams like me.
Those symptoms were magnificent. I improved a lot.
Yes, there was a big problem!
During that stage of development, I became too proud of myself and felt that I am really a good person. Wow!
I started to close my doors from the people who talked behind my back, from the people who rolled their eyes to anything that won’t please them, and from the people who always complain just about tiny issues. But why did I feel guilty?
Yes, it’s good not to hang out with those kinds of people. They were not only slowing down my progress but they also gave me a reason to feel hurt and stressful. But the truth was, they were just like me before. It’s just that I had something I knew that they didn’t. I was just afraid that I might return and start over again.
Here’s the sad thing, no matter how huge the information we gathered, as long as we are human, we will fail, make mistakes and create sins over and over again.
I still have so much to learn. And I still have so many mistakes and risks to do!
“I don’t need intelligence that leads me to know other people’s capability. I need wisdom that guides me to know my own capacity.”
This is what it means to be HUMAN.
Well, most of the characters in my book are not humans anyway but it has something to do with humans.
These thoughts directed me to write Night Hervey. I wanted to write a book that doesn’t separate light and darkness but a book that combines both in characters heart. I wanted to write a book that doesn’t judge sins from goodness, but a book that connects both in characters action. I wanted to write a book that doesn’t distinct fear from courage, but a book that merges both in characters response.
Nobody is perfect. That’s why I choose Night Hervey as someone wicked and deadly but has compassion within.
How am I going to write this kind of book?
Honestly, this is too tough and sturdy but I must choose the hard way.
I might give you a hint on my next post.
Thank you for reading until the end.
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